Revision

Objectives

  • Learn to identify strengths and weaknesses in an article's claim, support, clarity, organization, and readability
  • Master the basics of grammar, punctuation, and mechanics 
  • Learn to read a dictionary entry and to use words effectively 
  • Become familiar with proofreading strategies
  • Become familiar with the appropriate format for margins, block quotations, and graphic elements of a research paper
  • Begin to use word choice, rhythm, figurative language, and allusions to polish prose

Introduction

There is more to revising a draft than running spell check. In fact, the most important work you do on an article--work that could make the difference between something mediocre and something outstanding--may take place in the revision stage because it is in this stage that you can review what you have done, evaluate its success, and make improvements. 

When revising, you might want to think of yourself as an editor.  While most people think of an editor as someone who reads material and fixes problems in grammar, punctuation, and spelling, the role of an editor actually encompasses a large number of responsibilities that are best summarized as "preparing material for publication."  Thus, in addition to proofreading, the editing staff of a book publisher, newspaper, or magazine checks articles for accuracy, adjusts writers' material to conform to a consistent style and format, writes additional material such as headlines, and makes decisions about the appearance and order of articles.  In other words, editors transform a lot of raw material--such as manuscripts, photographs, or computer files--into the polished final product that readers and viewers see.

Whether you are revising your own draft or helping someone else to revise a draft, think of yourself as an editor who is preparing this raw material for other people's eyes.  Specifically, you should break the revision process into two distinct stages: editing and proofreading. 

Editing

In the editing stage, you try to see the big picture that a piece of writing creates.  It may help to break down this big picture into four general components:  claim, support, clarity, and readability. 

Claim: If what you are reading is an argumentative article, it should contain a claim.  Evaluate the success of this claim.  It should be clear and should state something that can be argued.  If you are reading someone else's article, try to state the article's claim in your own words and ask the writer if you got it right.

Support: If an article makes a claim, it should also include supporting evidence.  When editing, you should evaluate this evidence.  First, make sure that the evidence is relevant, credible, and sufficient.  Try to anticipate questions that readers might have about the material and then ask the writer or yourself these questions.  In particular, ask these five questions again and again: Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?  Demand exact figures and specific names.  The more specific the evidence, the more compelling it is.  Second, check the accuracy of the material.  While editors lack the time to check every fact in everything they read, they can and should check anything that they think might be wrong, either because it does not match what they think is correct or because it just seems like the kind of thing someone would be likely to confuse.  When editing material produced by inexperienced writers, you should check at least one fact in shorter articles (1-300 words) and three facts in longer articles (more than 300 words).  Of course, every inaccuracy you find should make you that much more wary.

Clarity: As you read each paragraph, underline its topic sentence. Comment on the connections between each paragraph and the paper's claim. Does each paragraph advance this claim? If not, why not? Is the order of paragraphs logical, or would a different structure be more effective? Comment on the organization of individual paragraphs. Are the "levels of generality" logical and easy to follow? Does the writer effectively use transitions to move you from sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph? Do you understand the connections the writer is trying to make?

Readability: How has the writer packaged his or her ideas? If necessary, suggest ways the writer could engage the reader more effectively, perhaps by using more precise words, mixing long and short sentences, adding figurative language, or cutting unnecessary words.  See "Writing with Style."

Proofreading

If editing involves seeing the big picture and making sure that it is complete and in focus, then proofreading is a matter of seeing the little black marks on the page.  It's harder than it sounds.  Indeed, perhaps you have had this unsettling experience: You sweat over a paper, writing, revising, reading every paragraph three, four, maybe ten times. You confidently hand it over to your classmate or roommate and sit back to wait for the praise. Before your back hits the chair, the reader says, "You misspelled 'the' in the first sentence." How does it happen? The problem is that writers are too close to their work. They are so preoccupied by the evidence, transitions, paragraph organization, and style that they miss those pesky misspellings and comma problems that blaze like signal flares to other readers.

The key to successful proofreading is actually seeing the words and punctuation--not the cogent argument, not the solid organization, not the stylistic flourishes, but the little black marks on the page. You can see those marks if you follow this procedure.

  1. Do everything you need to do to the paper except proofread it. Include all the evidence you want to include, settle on a method of organization, put in all the transitions, and make all the necessary decisions about word choice, syntax, and the like. Now and only now should you print out your "proof draft." On this draft, you will look for nothing except surface errors such as misspellings, missing commas, missing words, and so on. 
  2. If you have time, leave the paper for a while. Go to lunch or take a walk. Try to separate yourself from it as much as possible.
  3. Review the basic principles of Standard Written English.  See my "Grammar Guide" or a credible published guide, such as The Ready Reference Handbook.  If you are writing for a publication, such as All American, you also may need to review the publication's "style"--that is, its conventional practices of spelling, mechanics, and other elements.  The style manual for All American is The Associated Press Stylebook and Libel Manual, a standard reference manual for many American newspapers.
  4. When you are ready to proofread, remove everything from your desk except your proof draft, a red pen, a hardback dictionary, and a grammar manual. Turn off the television and the stereo. You might even find it helpful to turn out all the lights except a desk lamp. Now you can focus on your draft. 
  5. Read the paper slowly. Mark any mistakes with a red pen. During this first proofing, you should be able to detect errors such as missing words, comma problems, and grammatical mistakes, such as errors in subject-verb agreement. If you are not positive what a word means or how it should be spelled, look it up in a dictionary. 
  6. Now read the paper again. This time, look at it in an artificial way. For example, you might try reading it backwards word by word or sentence by sentence. You also might try reading it aloud. All of these methods of artificially reading your words force you to see or hear things you might miss if you were reading normally and were distracted by the flow of sentences and paragraphs. 
  7. Using strategies such as these, proofread the paper again and again until you are comfortable with it; then, ask at least one other person to proofread it, as well. 
  8. Go to the computer and make the changes you have noted, as well as any valid changes suggested by someone else. As you make them, check them off the hard copy. After you have finished correcting the mistakes, glance over the paper to make sure all of your changes have been checked. 
  9. One or two days--not the night!--before it is due, print out the final version and put it in your notebook. Go for a run, pick up a magazine, or turn on some music. Relax. You're done!

Terms

  • editing
  • editor
  • proofreading
  • style

Suggestions for Practice

Topic Sentences

"Think Fast"
Without looking at your draft, write a sentence for each of the main points supporting your claim.

 
Draft Workshop
  1. As you read the body of the draft in front of you--that is, everything but the introduction and conclusion--try to identify a topic sentence in each paragraph.  In other words, look for a sentence that seems to summarize the content of the paragraph.
  2. If you find a topic sentence, underline or highlight it.  Now, evaluate this sentence by responding to the questions and instructions below.
    1. Does the topic sentence appear in a position where it can help readers understand the point of the paragraph?  The most effective position of a topic sentence is usually the beginning of a paragraph because it prepares readers for what will follow.  If the topic sentence does not appear in a logical position, suggest moving it.
    2. Is the topic sentence clear?  Try this test: If you can predict what the rest of the paragraph will cover without reading the other sentences in it, the topic sentence probably is clear.
    3. The most effective topic sentences look both backwards and forwards.  That is, they remind the reader of the overall claim of the article, summarize the content of the current paragraph, and show how this paragraph will support the claim.  Does this topic sentence connect the paragraph to the claim?  If not, suggest a change.
  3. If you did not find a topic sentence in the paragraph, suggest one.  Make sure that it satisfies the criteria above.
"Think Again"
Now, using what you have learned about topic sentences, write an effective topic sentence for one of your paragraphs.  Use one of the sentences you wrote in the "Think Fast" exercise as a guide.  After class, do the same for each of the paragraphs in the body of your draft.

Levels of Generality

"Think Fast"
Label the levels of generality in the paragraph below by placing a number 1 in front of the most general sentence, a number 2 in front of each sentence that is a little less general, a number 3 in front of each sentence that is a little less general that the number 2's, and so on.
The emphasis on literature's value to the public, as opposed to its value to its creators, can be found in America's early copyright laws.  The first of these laws, passed by the Connecticut legislature in 1783, was called an "Act for the encouragement of Literature and Genius."  The law recognized that "every Author should be secure in receiving the Profits that may arise from the Sale of his Works," but it also proclaimed that "such security may encourage Men of Learning and Genius to publish their Writings, which may do Honor to their Country, and Service to Mankind" (Lehmann-Haupt 104).  In both name and purpose, then, this law suggests that the indirect contribution it makes to the expansion of knowledge is at least as important as the protection it provides to authors.  More telling is an additional clause that allowed the Superior Court to revoke the author's copyright if he or she failed to "furnish the Public with sufficient Editions" of the work or set the price too high (Lehmann-Haupt 104).  Thus, writers' control over their material disappeared if they neglected their duty to enlighten the public.  The first federal statements on copyright show the same commitment to public enlightenment.  The Constitution's provision for copyright gives Congress the right to "promote the progress of science and useful arts, by securing, for limited times, to authors and inventors, the exclusive right to their respective writings and discourses" (Lehmann-Haupt 107).  Both this provision and "An Act for the encouragement of learning," passed by Congress a few years later, show residual concerns about public access to great ideas.

 
Draft Workshop
  1. Label the levels of generality in at least one paragraph in the draft in front of you.
  2. A well-organized and well-supported paragraph generally should have at least two level-2 sentences, each followed by one or more level-three sentences and perhaps even level-4 and level-5 sentences.  For example, you might label an effective paragraph in this way: 1-2-3-3-2-3-2-3-4-3-4.  According to this guideline, is the paragraph you are evaluating well-organized and well-supported?  If not, suggest moving or adding sentences to improve it.
"Think Again"
Now, using what you have learned about levels of generality, revise one of your own paragraphs.  After class, do the same for each of the paragraphs in the body of your draft.

Transitions

"Think Fast"
Brainstorm a list of as many transitions as possible.  Organize the items in the list according to the type of connection they establish between sentences or between paragraphs.

 
Draft Workshop
  1. As you read the draft in front of you, circle or highlight every transition you see.
  2. How well has the writer of this draft connected the sentences and paragraphs with transitions?  If necessary, suggest transitions that the writer might add to clarify the flow of the argument.

    3.  
"Think Again"
Now, using what you have learned about transitions, revise one of your own paragraphs.  After class, do the same for each of the paragraphs in the body of your draft.

Proofreading

"Think Fast": Commas
Most of the mistakes that writers make in their punctuation concern the use of commas. The secret to using commas correctly is memorizing the most common places where they are required. The following sentences provide examples of these places. Analyze each sentence and then jot down what rule it illustrates for using--or not using--commas.
  1. She has experience working in sales, accounting, and marketing.
  2. Sears needs to promote itself as a friendly, service-oriented store.
  3. The president chose January 18, 1996, to implement the program.
  4. She moved to Chapel Hill, North Carolina, in August 1991.
  5. Finally, the game had many great plays. For example, Mays made a leaping catch in center.
  6. At the beginning of the year, business is slow.
  7. Although the film received excellent reviews, few people went to see it.
  8. The film received excellent reviews; however, few people went to see it.
  9. A new teacher has joined the faculty. The teacher, who is from Alabama, arrived in May.
  10. Two new teachers have joined the faculty. The teacher who is from Alabama arrived in May.
  11. Martha Johnson's husband, Steve, is a carpenter.
  12. Martha Johnson's friend Steve is a carpenter.
  13. The company opened in December, and sales began to rise dramatically in March.
  14. The company opened in December and closed in March.


Now read the following paragraph and put commas where they are needed.

Our plan for improving the company's sales included new approaches to magazine radio and television advertising. First we began running several new national magazine advertisements. The first advertisement ran in the May 8 1996 issue of Newsweek and features author Toni Morrison who appears holding one of our candy bars. At the bottom of the page a paragraph explains that Morrison eats one of our candy bars every day. We produced our first radio commercial in September 1996. In this commercial which ran first in Jackson Mississippi and later in Orlando Florida cellist Yo-Yo Ma explains that he always eats one of our candy bars before a performance. Although Ma is not as famous as other celebrities we might have chosen we decided he would appeal to a well-educated sophisticated audience. Of course television was the main venue we exploited. We wanted to reach a large audience; however we could not afford to spend a lot of money. We decided to run commercials during the syndicated shows Seinfeld and Star Trek: The Next Generation. The commercials began appearing in December 1996 and continued running for the next three months.
"Think Fast": Grammar, Etc.
Proofread the following paragraph, correcting mistakes in grammar, spelling, punctuation, and mechanics.
 
Many literary scholars regard the poet, Emily Dickinson, as one of Americas best writers. Although she was not famous in her own life. She grew up in Massachusetts, and attended Mount Holyoke Female Seminary in 1847. In 1848 she met a Law Clerk that worked in her fathers office, he encouraged her to take poetry seriously. The correspondance between she and him show that he effected her very strong. Over the coarse of her life, she wrote more than 1,700 poems, however almost all of it laid in obscurance while she was alive. When she was lay to rest most American's had never heard of Emily Dickinson who modern scholars consider a literary genius. Living in our era, its hard to believe that Dickinsons contemporarys did not appreciate her work but we must remember that her style was very unique. Even people who read her poetry today, are marveled by her bazaar poems. Including "Because I could not stop for Death", "I heard a Fly buzz--when I died" and "I felt a Funeral in my Brain". Where would we be if Emily Dickinson had not wrote her strange beautiful poems.


You may check your answers by consulting the answer key.  For addition help with grammar, consult my "Grammar Guide."  Still haven't had enough?  Try taking my quiz, "How Much Do You Know About English Grammar?"
 

Draft Workshop
    Using what you have learned about grammar and punctuation, proofread the draft in front of you.
"Think Again"
Use at least two of the proofreading strategies described above to proofread your own draft.
Updated November 15, 2000 | University of North Carolina at Pembroke
© Mark Canada, 2000 | mark.canada@uncp.edu