January 1998
Height: 21 inches
Weight: 6 pounds, 9 ounces
Other information: "Esprit" (pronounced es-PREE) is a French word that means many special things, including "spirit," "soul," "mind," "wit," "humor," and "character." "Nueva" (pronounced nue-AE-vah) is the Spanish word for "new."
March 1998
Weight: 10.5 lbs.
Height: 22.5 inches
Aliases: Peanut, Popeye, Piglet, Wiglet, Milky Face, Essie-bug
Wanted for: Smiling, cooing, turning and lifting head, scooting around in crib, dancing with Dad, taking baths, gazing at Venetian blinds
Known Hangouts: Mommy's shoulder, Daddy's arms, top of washing machine
Favorite Food: Milk
Favorite Musicians: Waylon Jennings, Hank Williams Jr.
Favorite Songs: "You Are My Sunshine" and "Down in the Valley" (as performed by Mommy), "Vacuum Serenade" (as performed by Dirt Devil)
Weight: 13 lbs.
Height: 26 inches
Aliases: Bugaboo, Baby Boo, Bubble Jet, Sweetie, Jr.
Wanted for: Playing with toys in her bouncer, grabbing her right foot
Accomplices: Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger, too
Known Hangouts: Baby bouncer
June 1998
Weight: 13 lbs.
Height: 26 inches
Wanted for: Giving her parents the raspberry
Warning: Esprit is armed with a killer smile and has been known to go incognito.
Weight: 16 lbs.
Height: 27 1/2 inches
Wanted for: Stealing the hearts of her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on a recent string of heists throughout the Midwest
Note: Esprit has developed a new disguise: two teeth
Warning: Esprit's modus operandi is to win over strangers with a friendly wave, take them for all they're worth, and then just roll away.
NEWS
FLASH: CAPTURED!LAURINBURG, NC Esprit Canada, aka, "Bug," was recently captured after becoming trapped beneath her play yard. Authorities swooped down and apprehended the felon as she struggled to escape with cohorts Baba and Froggy. Once she was in custody, a few tosses in the air and blows to the tummy finally yielded a verbose, but incoherent admission of guilt. Esprit's typed confession is still awaiting translation; however, part of it appears here:
[p
][k\],-m,m',,77vccccccccccccccccccol,,,,, mmmmmmmp;p;;;;;;;,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,m?" ,.;.
