LAURINBURG, NC Esprit Canada, aka, "Bug," was recently captured after becoming trapped beneath her play yard. Authorities swooped down and apprehended the felon as she struggled to escape with cohorts Baba and Froggy. Once she was in custody, a few tosses in the air and blows to the tummy finally yielded a verbose, but incoherent admission of guilt. Esprit's typed confession is still awaiting translation; however, part of it appears here:

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UPDATE: BEHIND BARS

LAURINBURG, NC: As she awaits trial for a variety of offenses, including pulling Tupperware out of her mother's cabinets, Esprit Canada has had to adjust to life behind bars.

"She has been a model prisoner, for the most part," Sheriff Mark Canada explains. Nonetheless, Esprit is under constant surveillance. "There are plenty of people would like to see her on the outside again," Canada remarked. He noted that officials recently discovered a file in a balloon delivered to her cell.

Esprit is working to make the best of a bad situation. All signs suggest, however, that it will be some time before she learns to stomach jail food.

The jury disregarded "Bug's" 11-month crime spree and let her walk -- across the courtroom, into the living room, and through the house.

Authorities in Laurinburg, Canada's crime haven, fear and have already begun to experience the worst: broken lamps, pilfered coffee cake, missing articles from around the house.

"She's leaving a trail of tipped glasses, torn dust jackets, crumbs and other messes," says Mark Canada, dad and investigator. "In fact we may have a new alias in the works...."

Update: Esprit Lies Low

Update: Esprit Returns to Life of Crime

"I almost didn't notice," the witness remarked, explaining that the victim never made a sound. Nevertheless, the odd vehicle Canada used for the abduction--a red wheelbarrow--coupled with a watch that she apparently used to time her escape, tipped off the witness that something was awry.

Canada remains at large, despite a massive toddler-hunt spanning four states in the Midwest, where the kidnapping took place. So far, the only lead has come from Indiana, where another witness took the picture at the right, leaving police worried that the famed master of disguises will elude their grasp.

Update: Esprit Heads Up Band of Outlaws

Esprit Canada--who coolly escaped conviction for theft back in December 1998 then thumbed her nose at police by committing a dollnapping in broad daylight in July 1999--has formed a gang.

An amateur photographer captured the notorious criminal's new accomplices--and brash new attitude--in the picture shown at the right.  Canada seems now to be daring authorities to catch her.  At the same time, she clearly has won the admiration of Jordan Corcimiglia and Catherine Ivey, as well as the heart of Heydon Ward.
 

Esprit Nueva Canada

Update: Captured!

After a nationwide toddler-hunt failed, authorities had all but given up on locating the elusive Canada, who had disappeared in the Carolina mountains a year ago, resurfaced in Philadelphia in May, then formed a gang over the summer.

Then, in October, the North Carolina State Highway Patrol pulled over a dragon on a routine fire-breathing violation and hit the jackpot.

"We knew that Canada had been known to use Harry, the Harris-Teeter Supermarket dragon, as a getaway vehicle, but we thought she was still in hiding," one officer explained.  "I was shocked when I found her in the driver's seat."

Canada is being detained in a moonwalk.

"Some people are complaining that we are pampering the prisoner," the sheriff explained, "but we can't take a chance that she will escape.  We know this suspect.  She could escape an ordinary cell in a heartbeat, but she will never leave a moonwalk.  Never."

Esprit Nueva Canada

Update: Esprit sent to Gulag

As the foreman read the verdict, Canada balanced a hotpad on her head and said, "Look at dis!"  The judge, perhaps incensed by this nonchalance, glared at the defendent and said he was determined to reform her or at least teach her a lesson.  He said he would like to send her to Siberia, but would have to settle for the next best thing.  The next day, Canada was on a minivan to Indiana.

Although she arrived to find a foot of snow on the ground and sub-zero temperatures, Canada remains undaunted.  Witnesses have spotted her throwing snowballs at her captors and making snow angels on the frozen tundra.  Putting her famed charm once again to work, she has even managed to cajole prison guards into giving her rides on a sled.

Esprit Nueva Canada

Alias: Essie
Age: 3 years
Height: 3'4"
Weight: 39 lbs.
Status: Serving time

Update: Esprit hits the gym

"She's pumping iron," the facility warden announced apprehensively in a recent press conference.  "We're seeing a hardened criminal becoming harder--and tougher and stronger.  We can't keep her here forever, and, when she goes free, America could be in trouble."