The Canadas
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Spring 1998 News Updated August 10, 2002 |
Life Almost As Usual
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It’s
probably a good thing for us that old habits are hard to break.Home Improvement, Part 4
Spring
1998: Knowing that Esprit was on the way, Lisa and I tried to finish most
of our immediate house projects last year. In expectation of the open house we
planned for Essie's baptism on Easter weekend, though, we returned to our
homework this spring. Lisa planted
a large garden, including butterfly bushes and several vegetables, and sewed
valances for Essie’s nursery, as well as new cushions for the dining room
chairs. I installed shutters on
the front and side windows and built a modest dovecote, which we set up in the
garden. We also added a table,
chairs, and umbrella to the back yard and painted the screen door, porch, and
mailbox in the front of the house.
Finally, we finished decorating Essie's nursery and playroom by hanging
several pictures.
Spring Break
March: During past spring breaks, Lisa and I have traveled to Florida and the Okeefenokee Swamp, but this year we found several ways to relax here in North Carolina. We spent most of the week at home, where I had the chance to spend a lot of time playing with Esprit. In addition to chatting and playing games with her, I recently discovered one of her favorite diversions and have been giving her a steady of supply of it: after weeks of playing Mozart, Beethoven, and Handel for her, I noticed the other day the peculiar way she was tapping her foot and decided to put on some Waylon Jennings. It was love at first note. Since that time, I have exposed her to Hank Williams and Hank Williams, Jr., as well as John Anderson, and she loves them all, although "Family Tradition" and "Cold, Cold Heart" don't seem to have quite as potent an effect as "Honky Tonk Heroes" and "Ramblin' Man," which seem to put Essie in a trance. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Like Tom Petty, Essie was "born a Rebel / Down in Dixie / On a Sunday morning." Here in Laurinburg, Lisa, Essie, and I also have been going for walks and watching Carolina basketball on television. In a wonderful stroke of luck, I even had the chance to watch--and tape--a recent Rolling Stones concert, which PBS was broadcasting during its fund drive.
The three of us also took a short trip up to Chapel Hill, where we introduced Esprit to some friends who hadn't met her yet. We had breakfast with Aaron Butler, one of my fellow graduate students at the University of North Carolina, and lunch with our friends Sandy Roberts and Beth Guiles. I also had the chance to join Beth's husband, Austin, for a run, just as we used to do every Tuesday when I lived in Chapel Hill. The highlight of the day came later, however, when Lisa, Essie, and I split up to go shopping. Actually, Lisa and Essie went together, and I rejoined them at the gourmet grocery Southern Season. When I popped my head into Essie's stroller to greet her, she flashed me a huge grin that lifted me a foot off the ground. With that kind of entertainment around, who needs to leave home?
Easter Open House
Spring:
Mark and I enjoy sharing our home with family and friends, and one of our favorite
ways of doing that is by having parties. Recently the big events calling for
celebration were Mark's graduations, but this year's party was in honor of the
newest member of the family. Essie and Mark were both baptized into the
Catholic church at the Easter vigil; the following day we celebrated with an
open house.
The party began a few weeks before Easter with Mark's and my finishing up some minor home improvements, such as painting the porch, attaching a baseboard to a bare wall, getting the garden planted and lawn trimmed up nicely. As the big day drew near, I started planning the menu and purchasing the makings for ham, roasted new potatoes, quiche, fruit salad, and cinnamon rolls.
Miraculously everything came together nicely. First, Esprit was an angel during the Easter Vigil Saturday evening; she especially liked her baptism, which probably reminded her of the baths she loves so. On Sunday, we started the day by playing Easter Bunny to my nieces Lindsey and Allison who were visiting from Fort Wayne. The open house turned out to be a full house. Among the 25 or so friends and relatives who attended were our families from Indiana, including our parents and my brother Chris and his family, as well as friends from Chapel Hill, neighbors, and friends from church. One very special guest was a woman named Phyllis Shaw, whose parents built the home we lived in and who slept in the room that is now Essie's. It was a special homecoming for her, I think, and a very nice reunion with the neighbors on our street who watched Phyllis grow up in this house.
The trouble with having a party of such size is that the hosts don't get to spend as much time with each guest as would be nice. Nevertheless, with the help of my dad, who is a natural host wherever he is, I think all of our guests felt welcomed and appreciated...at least I hope so.
We Turned Off the Boss
April: For years, I put up with a really annoying boss. He started in every night around 7 o'clock and didn't let up until 10 or 11. He talked incessantly, mostly about things that didn't matter, and rarely could stay on the same subject long enough to say anything insightful or interesting. Then, every 15 minutes or so, out of nowhere he would start shouting. He would tell me I was inadequate and order me to make something of myself by going somewhere or doing something. He even tried to take my money. He had a terrible sense of humor, a low opinion of humanity, and an obsession with money, sex, and violence. Worst of all, he monopolized my time, somehow persuading me to put up with all this nonsense even though he never payed me a dime. I caught on, however, and eventually made a decision that has changed my life. I fired him.
Here's how I did it:
When we moved to Laurinburg, North Carolina, a year ago, we were disappointed to find that our television reception was poor. We groused, bought an inexpensive antenna and then an amplifier--neither of which helped much--and even looked at satellite systems. Somewhere along the way, however, we came to see this limitation as an opportunity. For years we had been trying to avoid TV, and now TV was avoiding us. Instead of spending hours being insulted by inane programs and assaulted by obnoxious commercials, we listened to music, read books and poems to each other, played games, enjoyed fires in our fireplace, and just relaxed in silence. We felt free, relaxed, wonderful.
We still watch TV from time to time, especially since Esprit came along and imposed some new restrictions on our dexterity and concentration, but television no longer has the dominion it once had over our nightlife. If television has taken you and your family hostage, we invite you to join us in kicking the habit during 1998 National TV-Turnoff Week April 22-28. We must caution you, however. Once you unplug your set, you are going to have to deal with something you probably haven't confronted in a while: free time. Here are some suggestions for filling it, courtesy of TV-Free America, sponsors of National TV-Turnoff Week:
- Attend a community concert. Listen to a local band.
- Visit the library. Borrow a book.
- Paint a picture, a mural, or a room.
- Learn about native trees and flowers in your area. Plant something.
- Go bird watching. Learn the names of local birds.
- Learn to change the oil or a tire on a car. Fix something.
- Write a letter to a friend or relative.
- Bake cookies and bread. Make homemade jam. Share with a neighbor.
- Enjoy a moment of silence.
- Join a choir. Sing.
- Go through your closets and clothes. Donate surplus items to Goodwill, the Salvation Army or a local rummage sale. Have a garage sale.
- Start a diary/journal.
- Go to a museum.
- Attend a religious service.
- Visit a local bookstore.
- Make crafts to give as gifts. Try a new craft.
- Do a crossword puzzle.
- Watch the night sky through binoculars; identify different constellations. Observe the moon.
- Go dancing. Take a dance class.
- Watch the sunset; watch the sunrise with a friend.
- Visit the zoo.
- Research your family history and draw a family tree.
- Learn to say simple phrases in a few different languages.
Here a few activities we have enjoyed since kicking the habit:
- One of our favorite family activities is reading aloud, which allows us to spend time together, expand our horizons and vocabularies, and improve our speaking skills all at the same time.
- We have enjoyed listening to the radio for a long time, and now we listen more than ever. In general, the programing on our favorite radio stations is better than what we find on television, and we can listen while doing something else. Our local National Public Radio station broadcasts news programs, a travel show, and performances by the Philadelphia Orchestra and other musical organizations. We also became regular listeners of "The Big Bands Are Back," a Sunday-night program on a commercial station, and enjoyed becoming more familiar with a brand of music we didn't know very well.
- We enjoy entertaining and have had some friends over to our home for dinner.
- We spend a lot of time working on our home. Recently, in preparation for the open house we had for Esprit's baptism, we built a dovecote, planted a garden, and painted the front porch.
- We both enjoy board games, even though we haven't found one that we're equally good at playing. Either Lisa trounces me in Trivial Pursuit, or I extend my winning streak in Scrabble.
- Of course, we also like to play with Esprit, especially now that she is learning to play with toys such as the swinging Tigger and Pooh on her bouncer.
Finally, each of us has individual hobbies. Lisa enjoys cooking and sewing, I
like to run and ride my bike, and Essie likes to sit in her bouncer and
practice her vowels.
Bill Cosby Comes to Pembroke
Spring 1998: While I lived in Indianapolis, I once saw a T-shirt that said something like "London, Paris, New York, Indianapolis." I was reminded of that shirt when I thought about Comedian Bill Cosby's itinerary this spring: "University of Southern California, Temple University, University of North Carolina at Pembroke. In my first full year as a professor at Pembroke, I had the pleasure of hearing Cosby speak at our commencement ceremony. A regular at university commencements and a former student of our chancellor, Joseph Oxendine, Cosby graciously accepted our invitation to speak and gave one of the best speeches I have heard. Of course, he was funny, using his distinctive delivery to delight students, parents, faculty, and everyone else with jokes and stories about his family, but he also had some inspiring things to say about education. Reminiscing about his days as an undergraduate, for example, Cosby told of a lively discussion he had enjoyed in his philosophy class. For three hours, he explained, he and the other students had argued vehemently about whether the glass is half-empty or half-full. When he got back to his neighborhood, still excited about the thought-provoking exchange, he was reluctant to mention the discussion to one of his less educated relatives, who he feared would not be able to understand such a challenging concept. Finally, he let slip to her that he had just left an exciting discussion of whether the glass is half-empty or half-full. That all depends, she replied, on whether you're pouring or drinking. Cosby's message: respect your elders, who know a lot more than you.
My favorite of Cosby's remarks, however, dealt with faculty. Showing impressive insight into how we teachers view students and our jobs teaching them, he tried to express to the graduates the enthusiasm that teachers bring to their subjects. They love this stuff, he explained, and it hurts them when you give less than your best because you're satisfied with a C. In fact, he went on, they sometimes wonder if they are doing something wrong when students do not achieve great things. He ended his comments on this subject by encouraging students to write a note to the professors for whom they had not done their best.
Perhaps the best compliment I can pay to Cosby is this: Although I was sitting under a glaring sun in a thick black faculty gown on a hot day in North Carolina, I remained engaged by his speech. I also enjoyed watching him greet every one of the hundreds of graduates as they walked across the stage. He shook hands with the male graduates, hugged the female graduates, and posed enthusiastically for several pictures. I feel fortunate to have heard him speak, and I was glad to have been able to share the experience with a friend, Jamey Henderson, a former student of mine at Pembroke. Because Lisa did not want to expose Essie to the heat for such a long time, we gave her ticket to Jamey, who had a great time and joined us for a cookout at our house after the ceremony.
Unions and Reunions
May: This spring has brought several opportunities to spend time with new and old friends. While I was in town for a meeting a few weeks ago, for example, we visited many of our friends in Chapel Hill. In the morning, we had breakfast with Brian Carpenter, one of my fellow graduate students at UNC, and visited our longtime friend Sandy Roberts at the UNC Visitors' Center. Later, while I attended my meeting, Lisa went to the UNC Department of Nutrition to see several of her former colleagues, including Kerry-Ann da Costa, Lynette Thacker, Bob Levin, and Steve Zeisel.
This weekend, we reunited with a friend we hadn't seen since Thanksgiving: Jamey Henderson, one of my former students at Pembroke. Jamey, who is a medic in the 82nd Airborne at Fort Bragg, just returned from five months of training in San Antonio, Texas. Now, he's due to leave for Panama, but we took the opportunity to have him over to our house for a cookout.
We also have made some new friends over the past few weeks. At the grocery, Lisa met another new mother, and the two of them have begun talking about forming a mothers' group. We also have been growing closer to several members of our church, especially since the parish began having Wednesday evening meals.
The biggest event this spring, of course, was our Easter open house, where
we entertained about two dozen new and old friends.
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
May 31-June 3, 1998: After a brief delay imposed by the
arrival of our daughter,Esprit, we have resumed our hobby of traveling, this
time driving to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, where Mark attended Literature
and Literacy in an Age of Technology, a conference sponsored by the
National Council of Teachers of English. While Mark spent every morning in
meetings, Es and I spent wonderful time together walking around the Ocean Creek
resort, exploring the shopping area called Barefoot Landing, swimming in one of
the resort's many pools, and frolicking in the sea.
I learned a lot about Essie during our trip: she LOVES to swim (which did not surprise me after seeing her at bath time), she LOVES to travel (like Mom and Dad), and she is a GREAT sport (she didn't complain and even managed a smile when I inadvertantly kicked sand into her carrier). Es was enormously popular wherever we went -- the pool, the beach, the shopping center -- and earned Mark lots of popularity at his conference. As a matter of fact, at the meetings's end, Mark received compliments on his excellent comments and his beautiful baby. If we're not careful, Essie may demand an increase in salary, and we're not sure we can afford doling out any more love and kisses.
The Delight of Our Lives
May 8, 1998: During a class at church a few weeks
ago, our pastor suggested that we parents tell our children how much they mean
to us. Hold them up, he said, and tell them they are the delight of your lives.
If ever Father Kevin was preaching to the converted, it was then. Ever since
Esprit came into our lives four months ago, she has enchanted us with her
bright eyes, gorgeous smile, and innocent face. If she did nothing else, we
would find plenty of occasions to love her, praise her, kiss her, and generally
fawn all over her. But she is not one to rest on our her laurels and has been
busy developing new ways to make us smile, laugh, and melt. About a month ago,
she started smiling, and now she can't stop. When Lisa or I come into her line
of vision, particularly if we have been away for a while, she will pause, think
for a moment, and then break into a toothless grin the size of Texas. A few
weeks later, she discovered her toys, especially the swinging Pooh and Tigger
on her bouncer, and now she regularly reaches for them, grabs them, and even
pushes and pulls them. Just today, she found that she could grab her own foot
and has been performing that trick all day long. She also has been showing
signs that she may roll over soon; the day before yesterday, she reached the
three-quarter point several times. All of these things and more--the way she
kicks her legs as if she's riding a bicycle, her love for her baths, her habit
of fixating on bedposts and Venetian blinds--make her the delight of our lives,
and we make sure she knows that.