Esprit Canada

2000 Profile Age: 2 years Height: 3'4" Weight: 38 pounds Canadas’ Most Wanted Spring: travels to Philadelphia Summer: heads band of outlaws Fall: captured Updated June 20, 2002 © Canada 2001

By the time Esprit had turned 2, we no longer had to speculate about what she was thinking. She spoke up—loud and sometimes clear. It turned out that she had a lot on her mind. We learned, for example, what she believed was Daddy’s role in the house. “It’s OK,” she said once after making a mess. “Daddy can clean it up.” Her thoughts on Mommy were more complex. “Mommy,” she said once, “you’re my best friend.” Yet on another occasion, when Mommy got out of the car for a moment to pick up something outside, she cried: “Daddy, drive!” Perhaps most significantly, Essie was now able to begin enter in negotiations about various matters around the house. When Mommy asked her to take some medicine, for instance, she replied, “Don’t fight me on this.” Later, she became more conciliatory, but remained implacable, saying simply, “Sorry, can’t help you.” Along with her parents, she continued to travel. In May, she joined them in a trip to Philadelphia, where she visited a children’s museum, the Philadelphia Museum of Art, and other attractions. Perhaps best of all, she got to hang out with 23 college students whom her dad was leading on a Junior Enrichment experience for North Carolina Teaching Fellows. Later in the year, she traveled to Indiana to visit relatives. Like her other emotions, her feelings about travel turned out to be complex. On the one hand, she hated to leave Indiana. “You go,” she told Mommy and Daddy. “I stay here with this.” On the other hand, she showed that she truly loved her home. Upon her return once, she said simply, “This house is beautiful.” The trouble may have been the journey itself, for on one of these trips she cautioned, “Daddy, be careful. Don’t crash into anything.”

Canadas’ Most Wanted

Spring 2000 Name: Esprit Canada Age: 2 years Updated May 20, 2002 © Canada 2001

Esprit Moves North In a surprising turn of events, notorious criminal Esprit Canada has abandoned her hideout in the Carolina mountains, hitched a ride on a bicycle, and surfaced in a major urban center in the Northeast. Witnesses reported seeing Canada in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where she was spotted conspiring with suspicious persons in the vicinity of South Street. Police identified Canada's conspirators as members of a North Carolina student group visiting Philadelphia. "We're not sure who is corrupting whom," Police Chief Roy Smith said.  "Canada is a hardened criminal--there's no doubt about that--but this gang from Carolina is no scout troop."  Smith said Canada and her new gang had been spotted hanging around the Rodin Museum, the Please Touch Museum, the Balch Institute for Ethnic Studies, and the Reading Terminal Market.  He would not say whether officers were close to apprehending their suspect.

Summer 2000 Name: Esprit Canada Age: 2 1/2 years Accomplices: Jordan Corcimiglia, Catherine Ivey, Heydon Ward Updated May 20, 2002 © Canada 2001

Esprit Heads Up Band of Outlaws America's worst fears have come true. Esprit Canada--who coolly escaped conviction for theft back in December 1998 then thumbed her nose at police by committing a dollnapping in broad daylight in July 1999--has formed a gang. An amateur photographer captured the notorious criminal's new accomplices--and brash new attitude--in the picture shown at the right.  Canada seems now to be daring authorities to catch her.  At the same time, she clearly has won the admiration of Jordan Corcimiglia and Catherine Ivey, as well as the heart of Heydon Ward.

Fall 2000 Name: Esprit Canada Alias: Essie Age: 2 years Updated May 20, 2002 © Canada 2001

Esprit Captured Laurinburg, NC: Esprit Canada, wanted in two states for petty theft and dollnapping, has been arrested. After a nationwide toddler-hunt failed, authorities had all but given up on locating the elusive Canada, who had disappeared in the Carolina mountains a year ago, resurfaced in Philadelphia in May, then formed a gang over the summer. Then, in October, the North Carolina State Highway Patrol pulled over a dragon on a routine fire-breathing violation and hit the jackpot. "We knew that Canada had been known to use Harry, the Harris-Teeter Supermarket dragon, as a getaway vehicle, but we thought she was still in hiding," one officer explained.  "I was shocked when I found her in the driver's seat." Canada is being detained in a moonwalk. "Some people are complaining that we are pampering the prisoner," the sheriff explained, "but we can't take a chance that she will escape.  We know this suspect.  She could escape an ordinary cell in a heartbeat, but she will never leave a moonwalk.  Never."

Winter 2000 Name: Esprit Canada Age: 2 years Height: 3'4" Weight: 38 pounds Updated June 20, 2002 © Canada 2001

Update: Esprit sent to Gulag Indianapolis, IN: Cautioned by prosecuting attorneys not to let a known criminal go free, a jury swiftly convicted Esprit Canada of dollnapping and sentenced her to six months of hard labor. As the foreman read the verdict, Canada balanced a hotpad on her head and said, "Look at dis!"  The judge, perhaps incensed by this nonchalance, glared at the defendent and said he was determined to reform her or at least teach her a lesson.  He said he would like to send her to Siberia, but would have to settle for the next best thing.  The next day, Canada was on a minivan to Indiana. Although she arrived to find a foot of snow on the ground and sub-zero temperatures, Canada remains undaunted.  Witnesses have spotted her throwing snowballs at her captors and making snow angels on the frozen tundra.  Putting her famed charm once again to work, she has even managed to cajole prison guards into giving her rides on a sled.